The End

So the race is over.  It was amazing.  Time was 1:46:37, 14 minutes better than my personal goal.  8:31 swim, which was amazing and seemed over so quick. 
We had dinner at the Olive Garden the night before and then just hung out in the room.  I hardly slept that night between my nerves and the anxiety.  Got up early Saturday morning with all kinds of feelings running through my body.  Left about an hour before race time.  When we pulled in the park I couldn't believe the amount of cars.  It was overwhelming at that point.  When I got into the park and saw everything going on it was really overwhelming.  In a good way.  Got body marked right away and then headed to the transition area to set up. As I am setting up my spot I look up and see Tanya and Danyell standing there which sent me over the edge for the 1st time.  Had no idea they were coming down to watch.  My entire family was there and waited with me before the race started.  It was high energy.  People were warming up in the water, some were on their bikes and others were just having a short job.  Me I was nervous enough.   
About 10 minutes before my heat was called I headed down to the water.  Started up a conversation with a couple of other ladies to pass the time.  Finally they called my number and it was my turn to line up.  My heart at this point was coming out of my chest.  Goggles on, nose plugs on and she counts us down.   Into the water I go, staying to the back of the pack.  I couldn't get my rhythm right away.  There was some hitting and kicking going on.  Nothing that really made me panic.  I knew what I had to do.  I got wedged in behind two people that I couldn't get around until about 3/4 of the way through.  It seemed as soon as I found my rhythm I was getting kicked by the guy in front of me or hit by the lady next to me.  But overall the swim was exhilarating.   
Out of the water to T1.  I was a little shaky, still nervous.  Grabbed the bike and I was off.  Time to settle in to the ride.  Now we had driven the bike route the night before and it was very hilly.  I was a bit worried about it.  So I hit the road, first hill comes along not so bad.  Down the other side and it was fast.  This went on for the next 13 miles.  My bike time was 1:02.  I passed some people and people passed me.  I surprised myself because most of the people I passed were on a hill.
So back to the park and into T2.  This was a bit quicker.  Not much to change except the shoes.  This run was tough.  I should have been more afraid of the run than the swim.  It was hot.  The sun was behind the clouds until it was time for the run and there it was the whole time.  I did have to walk a few times just to catch my breath.  It was a bit humid as well.  I was so happy to see the 1 mile mark written on the blacktop.  Time to enter the park for the final stretch and I had to tell myself don't cry yet cause you will hyperventilate and not be able to breathe.  So tough it out and hold on.  I see the finish line come into sight and it was the best feeling in the world.  I see my dad standing there looking for high five with my husband and who am I not to celebrate.  So high fives to everyone.  Across the finish line and the amount of relief I felt to stop was great.  The open the water works!!  Tammy first, then my dad, then my mom, then Sherry , then April, Trevor, Taylor, Tanya, Danyell, Gracie and Craig.  What better way to celebrate an accomplishment like that then to have your entire family there to cheer you on the entire way. 
Would I do it again?  Yes.  The training is time consuming but obviously worth it cause I finished with no problems.  Would I do a longer one?  Probably not.  But I would trade this experience for anything in the world.

Last Week

Its finally here the last week of training.  I can't believe the race is 5 days away.  I am so darn emotional about this whole process.  Knowing where I started a few months ago in the pool and seeing where I am now is mind blowing.  Running is still not my favorite sport, but I can't believe how far I have come.  I wonder what I will do when this is all over and I have extra time on my hands?  No more planning on where I am going to be or what I need to be doing.  My body is tired and ready for this to happen.  My bike to run transition is pretty quick.  At least it should be I have been practicing it the last 5 weeks during every brick.  Tonight I will run through both and then Thursday i will swim and then actually go out and bike.  So here are my goals:  swim--15 min.,  bike--1hr. 15 min, run--35 min.  I would like to be able to do this right around the 2 hour mark.  The weather looks decent so far.  I hope for calm water that morning. 

Week 11

First injury of training if you can call it that.  Had 3 days of long workouts:  2 hr bike, 1 hr run, then a 1 hr bike and 30 min run.  During my run ended up with some crazy knee pain.  A friend said it sounded like inflamed tendons in my knees.  So ice for 20 min after every workout and 600 mg of Motrin twice a day.   The rest of the week is two days of swimming and then a bike ride on Friday, so hopefully by then it will have quieted down.  Heading to the chiropractor tomorrow morning for one more adjustment before the race.  Got the maps of the bike course and run course yesterday and scoped it out on Google earth.  16.2 miles versus the 17 I had originally thought.  I feel like if I can get my rythem on race day in the water I should be just fine seeing that I know I can swim 400 yards and being in the deep water doesn't bother me. 
My emotions are all over the place.  Its crazy that the training has gone by so fast.  I put the time in I should be just fine.  Hoping for a finish of around the 2 hour mark.  I will be happy with that.  Off day tomorrow and then one more long swim Thursday and its downhill from there. 

July 21, 2011

On the back end now.  Swam for 400 yards straight Tuesday night across the lake.  So that I can manage, an extra 40 yards isn't going to kill me.  Sunday I had a 70 min bike ride and a 35 min run.  It was a challenge, but I think it was difficult because of the heat and humidity.  I did have to have to take walk breaks during the run to catch my breath cause it felt like there was no air.  I have 16 days to go.  The training flew by.
I practiced the first transition Monday  night.  It seems ok.  I hate to say easy.  But I should be able to get in and out in a 1:30.  The 2nd transition I have been doing once a week for the past 3 weeks when I was doing the brick workouts.  That one is simple.  Its a matter of switching shoes and taking off your helmet.
For the first time in my training the muscles in the back of my arm/shoulder are sore.    More so in my right one.  For some reason when I am in open water I find myself only comfortable to breathe to my right.  The left is just a little uneasy and I can only do it for a few strokes.
Pretty soon I will officially be a TRIATHLETE!!!!!!!!!!!!

July 13, 2011

Today I had the longest swim yet, 1100 yards.  I swam it in the pool since the weather was so cool.  I remember being in the 2nd week and my arms feeling like jello when I would finish.  I thought boy 400 yards and I feel like this, 1100 yards my arms will fall off.  Well they didn't.  I get emotional when I think about how far I have come.  From being so exhausted and thinking boy I'm tired to getting in the water and just swimming it.  I remember trying to swim 50 yards and being so winded.  When you see yourself progress its amazing.  I don't think you fully know that the training works until you commit yourself to doing it and see the tiny differences along the way.  The running, still not a fan, but I can tell you I would never have even pushed myself for a 20 minute run much  less a 55 minute run. Is it easy?  By no means.  Can I do it?  Yes.  With a smile on my face and without a bit of struggle?  No.  But I wouldn't quit in the middle.  I know my body can do it, its just keeping my mind focused and in tune with my body and vice versa.    I keep reading stores of people doing their first tri and having so much trouble in the swim.  That's hard to read.

My swim today took 35 minutes for 1100 yards, but when I swam in the lake the other day it was 800 yards and it took me the same amount of time.  So I am guessing that I have to be swimming more than I think.  Obviously unless you measure it out you don't know.  I counted my strokes and it took 45 strokes to swim what I was and today at the pool I swam 25 yards in 25 strokes if that means anything.

July 7th

Its been a slow week.  Very light in the training to a point where I don't feel like I have done much.  Next week is a different story.  Had a decent swim Tuesday night.  Had to really watch where I was going there so many people, but I am sure that was good practice cause I had to get used to spotting where things were.  The days seem to be going by faster and faster.  I have waves of panic, joy, nervousness, excitement and accomplishment every day. 

4 weeks away

So I am officially 31 days out from the race.  The closer it gets the more nervous I become.  Last week was a heavy training week and this week if feels like I am not doing anything.  I seem to be getting more and more worried about the swim.  I really need to see the distance in person.  So hopefully I will get that out of the way when I go to the tri in Negaunee next weekend.  I had another brick workout Sunday, only a 30 min ride and 10 min run.  My heart rate didn't seem as high as the previous Sunday. 
Having trouble with my left hamstring but I think its my hip being out of place.  So another trip is due to the chiro soon.  I have been swimming in Chassell Bay but it is gross.  There is so much seaweed it makes me nauseous and it interrupts my swimming.  These last 7 weeks have gone by so fast.  I feel like I just started this journey.  I have accomplished many things over the last 7 weeks.  Learning to swim with my head in the water, running for 50 minutes straight without stopping.  Fears have been overcome.  There is one fear left and that is taking a swim out into the water where there is no chance of touching the bottom.  So Tammy and Taylor will take the kayaks out with me in a couple of weeks and I will swim until I can't swim anymore.  Transitions are coming up soon to practice.  I can't wait to cross the finish line and actually be able to say I did it.  To be able to push your body and have it cooperate.

1st Brick

My first brick was on Sunday.  I was so nervous about it Saturday night that I had a hard time sleeping.  70 min bike ride followed by 10 min run.  It was a little hard to get my legs moving after coming off the bike.  I had my heart rate monitor on and my heart rate was sky high by the time I finished the run.  (165 max)  Although the bike was good.  I mapped out about 14 miles for the 70 min and actually ended up going  2 extra miles to reach my time.  Had some Gu before the ride.  Which is less than pleasant.  Also tried a recovery drink when I was done which was better than the Gu and almost enjoyable.  Next Sunday is a 30 min ride followed by a 30 min run.  My ride Friday was 80 min and then to have one day of rest and get back on the bike and ride 70 min, my legs were feeling it last night and today.  Week 7 here I come. 

6-16-11

My 40 minute run last night was a bit disappointing.  I started out with a side stitch and had one heck of a time getting rid of it.  It was painful to say the least.  I had to take 4 short 15 sec walk breaks to try and relieve it.  I am better off running before dinner.  My toe started to hurt as well but I think my nail was too long.  I'll measure out my distance either tonight or tomorrow.
Swimming this morning was good.  I got there about 7:20 and most of the swimmers had left already which was nice.  800 yards in 25 minutes.  Tried to lessen the short breaks as much as I could.  Goggles worked fine (although I spit in them before hand) and my swim cap actually stayed below my ears until the last 100 yards so that was good.  Gotta make sure its dry and pulled down below my ears.  Seems like once its in place it kinda sticks. 
I have a headache today but I think its from the bite I have on my head.    My arm aches like crazy today and I forgot my icy hot.  Seeing that is is muscular rather than out of alignment the icy hot helps.  52 days to go. 

No Wetsuit

I found out last week that wetsuits are not allowed during the triathlon I am doing.  Not sure how I feel about that yet.  I am still going to swim with the wetsuit until the water warms up.  1 day at the lake and 1 day in the pool. 
I sent my registration in last week so it should be official this week.  I am anxious for my packet to come in the mail. 
Last Thursday I had a bit of a rough night.  I went for  walk with Ann and about 1.5 miles in I got all weak and sweaty.  I thought uh oh am I going to pass out way out here.  I slowed down and walked it out and finished.  I went home and laid on the couch.  Friday night I slept 13 1/2 hours and Saturday night I slept 10 hours.  I felt good Sunday morning and my run was fine.  I'm not sure if I was still hungry or my body was just saying hey take a rest, so I did.  Listen to your body it knows what it is talking about.

Wetsuit Experience 6-7-11

So this past Sunday was the first day I put the wetsuit on which was a chore in itself.  It also happened to be the first time to really swim in a lake.  I had those same feelings of panic that I did that very first day i was in the pool.  I started to swim and was like how come i can't breathe?  Well when I stood up I realized i was holding my breath.  The wetsuit gives you super floating capabilities which is something else to get used to.  So I spent 20 minutes just hanging out in the water.  So Tuesday was a swim day.  I packed all my stuff up, wetsuit too, and headed to the lake after work.  Rough!  The water was, what I thought, rough.  So we had measured out the distance between 2 of the buoys the weekend before but the closer you got to the one buoy it was nothing but seaweed and god knows what.  So I backed it off to what I thought was halfway between maybe a bit over and just swam that length.  Well 400 yards in the pool is about 20 minutes.  Last night 28 minutes before I was done.  Now granted it may have been over, but geez.  My arms hurt so bad by the time I was done.  Which I can't figure out because I have been swimming for 5 weeks.  So can it really be that different when you are dealing with the elements?  I gotta find out.  Now I know I wasn't as relaxed as I should have been, but I am hoping the more I do it the better I will be.  I did backstroke in there a little bit so that could have been the weakness in my arms as well.  So just another fear to conquer along the road.  The weather just hasn't been the best.  The wetsuit has its downfalls, but has some perks as well.  The ability to float is crazy.  So this morning I have some sore arms and shoulders for the really the first since I started that it bothered me during the night.  Practice makes perfect, right?

June 2, 2011

The weeks are flying by.  This is my 5th week.  I got my bike finally on Saturday.  Rode on Monday morning for 45 minutes.  Might need a new seat.  My bum got kinda sore about 40 minutes in.  Need the weather to warm up for those morning rides cause it was cold.  I ripped my pants even though I had them tied with a rubber band.  Swimming tomorrow with Taylor.  I switched my schedule around cause she is coming to stay tonight. 
Swimming has come a long way only now I am fighting with wrist pain that has been creeping up into my forearm.  It was a tough swim Tuesday morning from the pain, then it ached all day.  Icy Hot is my new friend.  700 yard swim tomorrow, not too worried.  Got a wetsuit from Theresa to try out.  When I will be able to get into open water is anyones guess.
We had gusty winds yesterday with  a high wind warning.  My run was not pretty but I did the 35 minutes without resting.  Like I said it wasn't pretty but I pumped it out.  Sometimes I felt like I had stopped moving.  When i run I get to a point where your struggling and then you get over that hump and your ok.  Not great, but you ok to finish.  Next week 40 minutes hopefully with a bit warmer weather and no wind.
It amazes me at what your body can do if you give it something new.  I sure have learned how strong I am and how determined I am.  I am not a quitter that's for sure.  Facing fears is definitely something new with this adventure.  That first day in the pool was shear panic.  Not knowing how to swim with my head in the water or breath without sucking in water and dying.  The minute that I stopped trying and just kind of let it happen was amazing before I knew it it was coming naturally to me.  Running is the same thing.  That first 20 minute run I walked for 2 minutes ran for 2 minutes, which got me nowhere.  I started to push myself to run and before I knew it my body was capable of running 25 minutes straight then 30 minutes straight and now last night 35 minutes straight.  Now it isn't fast but its running not walking. 
Biking is different since I have been spinning for over a year so those biking muscles are there.  The difference with being on the bike is getting used to the feeling of balancing the bike which your spin bike is stable and the pressure that is on your back since you can't really adjust your handle bars like you can on the spin bike.
I believe most people are stronger than they think they are and will never know just how strong they are unless they push themselves to find out.
You are stronger than you think you are!!!!!!!

May 24th

4th week of training started.  The more I swim the more comfortable I become.  I guess I should have realized it would come with time.  The more you practice the better you get right?  Anxious to get into the open water and get the feel for that as well.  Having trouble with my goggles fogging up and I hate it when I can't see where I am going and I am still swimming in a pool.  Probably going to have to get something to put on them. 
Got a new pair of shoes yesterday.  Will try them out tomorrow on my 30 minute run.  I have groaned my way through the 20 and 25 minute runs without resting.  We shall see tomorrow on the 30 min run.  I find that I run better on the dirt than on the pavement.  I also know that its hard to breathe when the humidity is 88% and that I make lots of noises when I run.  Good thing I run alone.  Going to need to see the chiropractor again maybe next week.  Hip is still kinda sore.  Other than that the body seems to be holding up ok.  I am hungry all the time.  I could eat non stop.  Some days I do. 

Got my Groove?

Ok, screw the whole swimming with the face in the water.  I can't worry about getting that right.  It was causing me to panic and not be able to swim confidently.  So now I have my way.  I swim some with my head immersed other times its in the water up to my nose.  I feel like I need to be able to see where I am going or I panic.  The minute that I couldn't breathe comfortably I panicked and then would get out of breath and lose everything.  It may not be pretty, but I just need to finish the swim without drowning.  My stroke is strong and so is my body.  If I decide after this to do other tri's then maybe I can work with someone on swimming but for now, I do it how I know it.  Actually didn't want to  stop this morning but I did my 400 yards like the training said so as not to overdo it.  Left the pool feeling like I accomplished something.

Week 3

Start of week three.  Tired this morning.  Still drug my butt out of bed and to the gym for 6:00 am spin class.  Went to the chiropractor on Friday, but I feel worse now than before.  My shoulder is really tender today and so is my hip.  I am going to give it a day and see what happens.  My run yesterday was positive.   20 min run no stopping.  I never thought I could do that.  Wait til the 55 min run comes up.  OH boy.  Should be getting my bike in the next couple of weeks.  Can't wait for that.  Anxious to hit the road.
Watched some more video over the weekend on Triathlons.  Hopefully picked up a few swimming tips.  Also found a great website for 1st time Triathletes.  Some great stories from 1st timers.  Back to the pool tomorrow.  Hopefully my new nose plugs will be in today.

Week 2

I'm tired today.  Got plenty of sleep but still just tired.  Swam Tuesday night after work cause the power was out in the morning.  It was miserable.  My nose plugs leaked and I am assuming its cause the pool was so cold.  So I ordered 2 new pairs.  It was like my first time in the pool and the Thursday before I felt so confident.  Today was a little better.  I ran last night, in the rain, which went well.  25 minute run with about 2 minutes of walking in there somewhere just to rest my legs.  My knees were hurting so I think I need new shoes.  My legs are a little sore today.
Swimming is just not my strong area and that worries me.  I hate leaving the pool feeling defeated.  I guess I have only been in the pool 4 times I have 12 weeks to go. 
Heading to the chiropractor tomorrow morning to get my hip and shoulder worked on.  Hopefully my body holds out. 

Swimming day 2

Today was 2nd day in the pool.  Sore arms this morning when I got up.  Did a 25 minute run last night directly after work, which wasn't too bad.  Legs were a little tight.  After about 14 laps in this morning I may have finally figured out my breathing.  The key just might be making sure your lungs are empty when you are ready to come up for that breath.  It seemed to flow better if i did that.  Now granted I had to spit and sputter a couple of times but I am learning.  I am doing the bi-lateral breathing so its every 3 strokes and then a breath.  If I keep my head in the water there really is a trough to take a breath in.  You just have to find it.  My fear of breathing in water was stopping me from finding it Tuesday morning.  So this morning I wasn't as nervous.  The one older guy next to me swam laps, literally, around me.  He didn't have to rest.  My resting wasn't because my arms or legs were fatigued but just to catch my breath so I could find a rhythm again when I continued to swim.  I found myself doing a mental check right before going into a lap.  My breath had to be just right.  Hopefully this all gets easier, which I am sure it will cause this morning was a bit easier than Tuesday.  So can't wait to see what my arms feel like tomorrow.  Saturday is a rest day.

First day of swimming (May 3, 2011)

So I decided to start training 2 weeks early cause I couldn't stand waiting anymore.  Up at 6:30, bags packed the night before, and ready to roll.  Got to the pool about 7:15.  Goggles on, nose plugs on and off we go?  Yeah right.  Do you really have any idea how hard it is to get your breathing right if you are going to do a total immersion swim?  Its not, unless of course you have been doing it your whole life, easy.  If I really concentrated I was able to get up to my nose in the water and still be able to turn my head to take a breath in.  Seriously if you have never attempted this you will have no idea what I am talking about.  My heart was beating so fast it amazed me.  400 yards accomplished with resting.   Gosh by the time this triathlon is over I will be mentally exhausted.  I have to get this breathing thing under control.

My arms are kinda tender today.  Right on the back of the shoulder.  Yesterday they were like jello.  I suppose that's to be expected for someone who swims leisurely maybe 4 times a year.  So here we go.  Facing my fears head on.  No other way to do it right? 

Tonight is a 25 minute run, which I will tackle directly after work.  Brought my stuff with me so there will be no excuses about getting it done.  Back to the pool tomorrow with some hopeful improvement by the time I have another 500 yards under my belt.

YOU ARE CAPABLE OF MORE THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE!

A little bit of panic (April 29th)

So today I am feeling a bit of panic.  I had my training guide all laid out with two indoor cycling classes mixed in on biking days and they are going to be changing the days from Mon. and Fri. to Mon and Wed.  Which I guess is not a big deal cause I can just swap 2 of the days around and really when I start to bike over 60 minutes I will need to be on the road anyway.  I checked out the pool at Finlandia the other night just to see where it was and what it looked like.  Only 4 lanes wide which I thought was small.  But there were only a few ladies in there when I went so that was nice.  I can't decide now if I should give up a biking day in the beginning of the training and take on another swim day.  I feel strong in the bike since I have been taking indoor cycling classes twice a week for a year now.  Its like I can't will the training to be here any sooner cause I just want to get it underway.  People call me crazy and I could be, but I am doing things now that 7 years ago I would not have physically been able to do since I was 80 pounds heavier.  So I have taken on a challenge that not everyone will and I will finish.  I may be last and I might get beat by a little 70 year old lady, but that's okay.  I have envisioned this challenge for 4 months now.  I will have to find out from someone how long it physically takes to swim 1200 yards.  Because honestly I don't know how long it will take me to swim 50 yards.   

Swim Clinic

So yesterday I attended the Sheila Taormina Swim Clinic at a local high school.  It was definitely worth it, even though I couldn't do some of the drills because I didn't have nose plugs and I couldn't swim with my face in the water.  The drills that I were able to do she said I have a nice stroke, which made me feel better about my swimming.  The best thing I discovered is that I can swim 25-50 meters without dying and that was one of the "if you can do's" on the training guide then you can do a triathlon.  So bonus!!!!!!!!!!!  I need to get  a pass for Finlandia asap.  That swim clinic opened my eyes on how tough the swim just might be for me.  But the training that you put in obviously prepares you for your race, right?  Got a few tips about doing a triathlon which was nice.  Stay to the back of the pack or off to the side when you swim, its safer.  Heck yeah.  Those kids were kicking in my face in the pool last night.  Sight is important, sight every 4 strokes.  Don't follow the people in front of you cause they are morons, says Sheila.  Don't trust them.  Know where you are before its too late and you have to play catch up.  Watch where you enter the water and where you will exit in proportion to where your bike is racked.  You don't want to be looking for your bike when you get out of the water.  Do I have more nerves now than I did before?  YES!!  But excitement will prevail and determination to finish, not to win, but to just finish and say I did it. 

April 17, 2011

The swim clinic is 2 days away and now I am feeling some nerves kick in.  Mainly because I am not sure if I can swim with my face in the water and not having my nose plugged.  I made some clothing purchases today for my race day outfit (yes more money).  I bought a swim cap and some goggles the other night.  Putting a swim cap on for the first time is quite an experience.  I tried many times before I figured it out only to be laughed at by my husband and my nephew.    Oh boy.
     So now I have been worrying about running when summer rolls around and the temperatures get high.  I was able to enjoy a nice spring day where the temp was only 67 and once into my run it was warm.  75 is going to feel like an oven.  So I have to figure out a way to run in the mornings. 

30 days until training

April 14, 2011 
     So I am 30 days out before I start the training plan for my first triathlon.  I am attending a swim clinic next week with an Olympic swimmer.  Not quite sure how I tell her, "Hey, I am doing my first triathlon and I can't swim underwater without plugging my nose" yet.  This is by far my biggest fear in doing this adventure along with the 3 mile run right after I bike for 17 miles.  I ran for two miles Monday night with a temperature of 67degrees and I thought oh man the summer is going to be rough for running.  I guess I will be up as soon as it gets daylight to get that run or bike ride in before the temperature gets too hot.
     The cost of doing this seems to creeping up on me.  I know I could have done it with any old bike, but I'm not.  I purchased a new bike from The Bike Shop.  Its a Jamis Allegro and the guys at the shop were really great about finding one that would be right for me. I haven't even registered yet for the race and I am close to $600.00 invested.  Which means I still don't have anything to wear, I don't have a helmet, I have to get a swim cap and goggles yet and I am sure I will need a new pair of running shoes soon. So I won't complain when I have to work on Saturdays for the next few weeks.
     My favorite quote in the training guide is this:  “DFL is better than DNF is better than DNS".  Translation "Dead Friggin last is better than Did Not Start is better than Did Not Finish.  They claim if you have even considered a triathlon then you have what it takes to finish.  Well, let me tell you, after reading some of the things in the training guide, which I have read about 10 times, I wonder.  A BRICK!!  Its when you incorporate 2 of your triathlon sports back to back.  With the bike to run being the most difficult.  Now that you have finished biking 17 miles you are going to ask your legs to run 3.  They say the heavy feeling in your thighs and the fact that you can't fully stand up straight is the hardest part to work through.  (I'll let you know about that when I get to it)   I know I can bike and I know I can at least run/walk for 20 minutes already, but the swimming is a whole new ball game.  So hopefully the swim clinic will help and then I will try to spend some more time in the pool over the next 30 days just to work on the swimming. 
     For now I can just envision myself crossing the finish line alive.
                                                   "We are capable of more than we think we are"